If you ask the average woman what traits she finds attractive in a man, you’ll hear a variety of answers including but not limited to physical traits, family values, etc. But I wanna delve a bit deeper into specific details of these qualities because I believe it will help our men feel free to embrace them and may also help some of our younger girls learn to look beyond his bank account. So here are MY (in MY opinion, on MY blog) top 10 most attractive qualities I believe are KINGLY in a man…
10. The ability to dream and make active but wise steps towards achieving that dream. This actually covers TWO concepts. The first is that I adore a man who can have a stable dream and a plan to work towards such. Now its one thing to have a dream but there must be a reasonable strategy in place that he is diligently working toward. This dream should not interfere with or sacrifice his happiness at home but it should be something his significant other can help and support him with. The second part of this is it must be a dream that can become REALITY. He must be able to determine if it is possible before he spends an eternity pouring too much of himself into something that may or may not be beneficial to his kingdom.
9. Confidence. Contrary to popular belief, a man’s physical form is not a deal breaker for a woman like myself. Don’t get it twisted, its good to LOOK at but as far as the man I’m being with, I don’t mind a love handle or two… or even three as long as he has the unwavering confidence that levels out each one of them. Nothing worse than a man complaining about his body and what he wants to look like more than he’s loving on his woman’s. Call me crazy but I feel “safer” in a big boy’s embrace.
8. Knowledge that love is stronger than pride. Pride is necessary in certain aspects of life, I agree. But there’s nothing sexier than a man who puts that aside to let his woman know what she means to him and will FIGHT to maintain the relationship. Pride over love is a weak man’s trait because at the end of the day, your pride ain’t gonna hold you down the way authentic love will. Better ask somebody!
7. A man that can cook and clean. Now, I’m a domesticated goddess so I prefer to take care of home HOWEVER a man who will get in there and cook dinner or do some laundry once in a blue moon had better be appreciated. Get in there and make breakfast like Ving did in Baby Boy (but not when the kids are home lol) and its goin’ DOWN.
6. Family values. Now, I don’t mean just the occasional I LOVE MY KIDS Facebook post or a tattoo of his Mom’s name. I mean a wholehearted, active appreciation for his family and kids (if he has any) that refuses to allow him to go more than a few days without spending quality time with these irreplaceable people that need him just as much. If he lives in the same city as his child there is absolutely NO REASON he should be spending time with that child only every couple months. If his Mom is a phone call away, he should be reaching out to her on a regular basis without being a Mama’s boy (there’s a distinct difference and usually boys have a hard time with the boundary). If he has more than one child, his time should not be spent more with one than the other, he should be the initiator in a constant effort to spend time and be involved with them EVERY week. He should know what QUALITY TIME is and understand it doesn’t cost a dime but is priceless to his loved ones. SHOW US you love and value your family, don’t just SAY it.
5. I LOVE when a man takes charge with reason. I don’t mean in that demeaning egotistical manner some of you petty-pooh-boys do. I’m talking about a man who has REASON to be on his throne and is not there to throw his weight around but to put his foot down WITH REASON. For example, don’t tell me what or how to cook if you ain’t buying groceries. Don’t talk about what I need to do with MY kids when you haven’t seen yours in months. Need I say more?
4. Celebrate her strengths. Is your woman damn good at something? How dare you let the world acknowledge this and celebrate this about her more than you do?! She look good in heels? She broil a hell-of-steak? She top notch employee at work? Change a diaper in record time? Got a beautiful singing voice? Praise her for it and you’ll see it fluctuate. If she does it better, relinquish yourself from it and let your Queen do her magic! Watch her do it and then use it as an aphrodisiac and go home & try to knock tha– never mind… but I’m just sayin’ we want nothing more than for our man to be our #1 fan.
3. Stability. He doesn’t need the best job in the world but he must be on a consistent path toward such. Lets face it, income is a necessity not only in relationships but in LIFE itself. None of us are happy or able to actively avoid being stuck inside the ice cold claws of poverty without making SOME time of income or seeking an education to place him on the yellow brick road to such. And ladies, lets support them more in their down times. If he is a good, loyal man but he has to work at a fast food restaurant to stay above water while he is seeking every option to provide for his family you’d better lick the FRENCH FRY fumes from his neck when he hits the door. Don’t judge me. I’m just sayin.
2. He makes a difference with the youth. His, yours, and all the kids in the village. If he’s an adult male, broke or not, SOMETHING can be done to positively impact the children in our community. Motivational speaking, coaching, mentoring, teaching, volunteering, etc are all ways a man can make a difference in children’s lives. This effort ALONE increases your KINGability by at least 15%.
1. Balance. All the old schools songs in the world could not possibly express how valuable it is for a man to be strong but weak. Respectful but freaky. A leader and a follower. A revolutionary and a gangsta. A lover and a fighter. Too much of one or the other ruins the randomness and excitement of the relationship. Find an equilibrium and give her the best of both worlds.
A few more in closing… I adore facial hair (clean, neat beards are the BOMB), humility, the ability to stay level headed and be a leader or a team player in times of adversity, and a calm demeanor (I over-react alot so I need this to level me out). Ladies, feel free to add your favorite qualities in a man in the comments below. Thanks for reading!